Back In the Game??

I think I could be!
SO I haven't run for a very long time........I had the small detail of my perforated bowel, then sepsis, then my bowel resection operation and associated recovery and then I got scared. I have done a couple of little runs, a half hearted attempt at C25K again and have been going to the gym a bit but running has become a scary elephant in the room that I can't contemplate....

However with the group Too Fat Too Run I am taking part in a pilot scheme about upping your speed, and the first "task" is to run a baseline 5km to get your, well, baseline time to start from. This became an insurmountable task in my head and I have been putting it off and putting it off. Today, with some encouragement from the TFTR ladies I decided to bite the bullet and do it. I planned a 2.5km there and 2.5km back route (psychologically great as halfway through and you're on the homeward bound stretch) and off I went.....

I headed out the door looking like some sort of weird running gadget one man band, with my garmin on one wrist, fitbit on the other and my phone mapping my run strapped to my arm. Thank god I decided to map my run as 200 yards down the road my garmin battery died (I think its making a stand against lack of use) I whacked my headphones in with my old 10km playlist on to remind myself that at one point 18 short months ago I would go out and run 10km as a training run for fun.

Gosh running is hard when you haven't for a while but also isn't it fun! I was hot, cold, sweaty, panting and people had the audacity to look at me! I mean they must see millions of size 18 women, the wrong size of 40 wearing green leopard print leggings and a lime green t-shirt bearing the slogan "Too Fat To Run?" panting their way down the street all the time.  I ran past the local dodgy pub and gave a cheery wave to the bloke outside in his mobility scooter with his pint, I ran past Lidl and imagined I looked all inspiring as I ran. I ran past the scores of people smoking at the hospital gates, I ran past a lady getting out of a taxi by an old peoples home whose legs were so swollen I don't know how she could stand. I thanked the universe that I could run, I thanked the universe that I gave up smoking 3.5 years ago when I had a plume of Benny Hedges finest blown in my face. I thanked my surgeon for my surgery. I also thought the following things:

*Running sucks- its for arseholes
*Why the fuck do I even want to run? Surely I have better ways of spending my time
*Maybe I could take up another easier hobby, say lion taming or swimming the channel
*Stupid fat cow, you'll never lose weight, you're a laughing stock. You are so slow and you keep having to walk
*Oooh Actually I can! This is for ME. I deserve this. I can do this. I can work from this baseline and make a difference to my body and health, physical and mental.

So my baseline 5km came in at 44mins. That was a run, walk, wobble so I am working on improving that now Ive realised I CAN get out there and I CAN do this.

Now the big question is do I sign up for the half marathon next March that keeps popping up everywhere I go on line, taunting me and tempting me.............