Running makes your brain wake up

This morning my schedule stated a 35min run/walk (I LOVE a schedule that actively encourages you

to not ACTUALLY die by adding ALLOWED walking) so I set off to take Grace to school, do my 35

mins, then get back to school in time for the harvest festival at 10.......... SO on went my garmin, I

saddled up the dog, tunes on, headphones at the ready ANDDDDDD the teacher at the gate told me

the harvest festival was in fact at half nine. Bugger I thought- I can't go running (YEE HAH screamed

the fat lazy me) but the sensible, determined me said "STFU- you can get a run in- its 8.45, run this

route and you can get home, shove the dog in and leg it up to school and the run will be DONE" so I

did.

I pushed myself a bit more, ran a bit faster and discovered my dog Fifi is a NATURAL at running

with me on the lead. Fab motivation she won't take no for an answer when it comes to her walks so I

might as well run them :)

I made it to the harvest festival EXTREMELY sweaty but SO FLIPPING SMUG. The harvest festival

was fab there was a huge amount of donations for the food bank, the kids sang beautifully and it was very traditional as it is a C of E school. They sang songs that I remember from primary school

harvest  festivals and they even had the local priest from the church affiliated to the school to bless

the harvest loaf.

I then realised that Grace is my last child at Primary school. I have two at seniors and one at

University. How did this happen? I can remember MY primary school days like yesterday.

Then the baby years, the toddler years - have all gone in a flash. I will never get them back. Its very

easy to look back with rose tinted specs but it is hard. It is relentless. The first post birth poo is a

memory you never forget (and I've had FOUR). Childhood illnesses, trips to hospital, bumped heads,

strange rashes that clear up the MINUTE you hit the waiting room. Starting nursery, that first nativity

when you think you will never stop sobbing at the angels with coat hanger halos, the random

spidermen, and of course, Little Donkey...........

I wanted to do a half marathon by the time I was 40, but real life and my own ill health got in the

way. I have now booked to do one on March 12th next year, which incidentally is my 3rd babies 12th

birthday, and 5 wish weeks before I turn 41 so I should just squeeze it in before my 40th year runs

out!

Ive chosen to do it and its going to be hard. The training, the actual event. Im not even sure Im

capable. BUT if I don't do it now the next 10 years will have passed, in the blink of an eye. I don't

know how my health is going to pan out- SO far so good since my resection but the surgeon was

eager to stress that when you have surgery for Crohns the first surgery is just that- the FIRST, thus meaning you will more than likely have more.

So, carpe diem, seize the day, run that run, watch that harvest festival while you are still told

"Mummy, don't be late and sit where you can see me" as I currently haven't seen daughter number

one for 7 weeks and I'm counting down another 7 until she comes home from Uni.........

Back In the Game??

I think I could be!
SO I haven't run for a very long time........I had the small detail of my perforated bowel, then sepsis, then my bowel resection operation and associated recovery and then I got scared. I have done a couple of little runs, a half hearted attempt at C25K again and have been going to the gym a bit but running has become a scary elephant in the room that I can't contemplate....

However with the group Too Fat Too Run I am taking part in a pilot scheme about upping your speed, and the first "task" is to run a baseline 5km to get your, well, baseline time to start from. This became an insurmountable task in my head and I have been putting it off and putting it off. Today, with some encouragement from the TFTR ladies I decided to bite the bullet and do it. I planned a 2.5km there and 2.5km back route (psychologically great as halfway through and you're on the homeward bound stretch) and off I went.....

I headed out the door looking like some sort of weird running gadget one man band, with my garmin on one wrist, fitbit on the other and my phone mapping my run strapped to my arm. Thank god I decided to map my run as 200 yards down the road my garmin battery died (I think its making a stand against lack of use) I whacked my headphones in with my old 10km playlist on to remind myself that at one point 18 short months ago I would go out and run 10km as a training run for fun.

Gosh running is hard when you haven't for a while but also isn't it fun! I was hot, cold, sweaty, panting and people had the audacity to look at me! I mean they must see millions of size 18 women, the wrong size of 40 wearing green leopard print leggings and a lime green t-shirt bearing the slogan "Too Fat To Run?" panting their way down the street all the time.  I ran past the local dodgy pub and gave a cheery wave to the bloke outside in his mobility scooter with his pint, I ran past Lidl and imagined I looked all inspiring as I ran. I ran past the scores of people smoking at the hospital gates, I ran past a lady getting out of a taxi by an old peoples home whose legs were so swollen I don't know how she could stand. I thanked the universe that I could run, I thanked the universe that I gave up smoking 3.5 years ago when I had a plume of Benny Hedges finest blown in my face. I thanked my surgeon for my surgery. I also thought the following things:

*Running sucks- its for arseholes
*Why the fuck do I even want to run? Surely I have better ways of spending my time
*Maybe I could take up another easier hobby, say lion taming or swimming the channel
*Stupid fat cow, you'll never lose weight, you're a laughing stock. You are so slow and you keep having to walk
*Oooh Actually I can! This is for ME. I deserve this. I can do this. I can work from this baseline and make a difference to my body and health, physical and mental.

So my baseline 5km came in at 44mins. That was a run, walk, wobble so I am working on improving that now Ive realised I CAN get out there and I CAN do this.

Now the big question is do I sign up for the half marathon next March that keeps popping up everywhere I go on line, taunting me and tempting me.............