The hospital at night

The hospital that night was a strange place is my fourth night so weird it's quiet on the flipside really busy. Footsteps up and Down the corridor, the rattles of the trolleys of instruments and drugs. Every now and again someone presses the buzzer. I have a drip in my arm so there's no walking away from illness for me. I am currently receiving three different IV antibiotics, IV steroids,IV fluids . On the last count I have had four cannulas inserted but I have bruises evidencing the 10+ attempts to cannulate me that have been made elsewhere. I have hidden small veins which are very hard to cannulate  and some of my veins have started to collapse.
My hand where my drip is is really stinging and the pump keeps failing as I move around trying to get comfortable.
I'm also on a liquid only diet. Yesterday I was in nil by mouth so this is marginally better but not much! I can drink water I can drink fortisip which is a weird meal replacement drink it comes in a number of exotic flavour - bearing in mind this is a milkshake type thing I currently have a tropical flavour and a banana flavour. Who is ever heard of tropical flavoured milkshake

. I love eating eating I am real foodie I love to cook for the people I love to try new recipes I find cooking and eating a real pleasure and nurturing. From newborn infants we are taught that our lives  routines revolve around mealtimes.when we have a baby one of the first thing  we establish is a feeding routine, toddlers we placate and comfort with snacks and bribes. We fill lunchboxes for children with healthy nutritious food we are bombardedwith recipes in magazines newspapers and TV cooking programmes. And I can't eat!

I've seen every hour pass tonight. Really struggling to sleep with the drip, the noise, the horrid sheets and plastic mattress. I feel dirty and smell like a hospital

Apologies for typos- I have a drip in right hand so typing is ardourous but it helps to get it out of my head and into here. I'm not sure what the plan is currently. I have a date for my bowel resection operation in 8 weeks time but that's a long limbo to fill. I have a partial bowel obstruction and a perforation on my bowel. Both very serious conditions that need close monitoring. The drs change the goal posts every day the surgeon says one thing, registrar another, consultant another. They are all lovely and so dedicated but it is very frustrating being in bed, away from my gorgeous family with no firm plan in hand.
I am weeing in pots that are shaped like sombreros (Ar-wee-baa?) so they can measure my output and was wearing paper pants until my mum and sister came with emergency pants supplies :) my dignity is down the road somewhere