Rubbish Runs. We all have them/Polly and Delores........

Last night I went for my first post 10k run. According to my training schedule I had to do a 30 minute easy run. Well to be fair everything was still hurting from the 10k and I chose a route that started with an uphill stretch. It was blowing a gale and I just wasn't feeling it.At 27 minutes I had to give up and limp home feeling really pissed off and angry with running as a whole. I decided it was a fluke that I ever got round the 10km and I could never run again, let alone the half marathon.

I have never had a hobby that makes me feel so schizophrenic in my life. I love running, I really do. I couldn't do it if I didn't, but I also hate it. There are two voices that live in your head when you are a runner. There is the one that pushes you, makes you get out there and do it and is your biggest champion. Lets call her Positive Polly. Positive Polly is sunshine, happiness and a forever positive outlook. She's the one who gets you putting your running gear on and believing you CAN do these distances, you can improve and you ROCK. She is the bit of you that makes "I love running" type boards on Pinterest, makes you subscribe to running mags and makes you get up at 6.30 am on a Sunday morning to stand around freezing to death in a vest top and a binbag, before running 10k having paid thirty odd quid for the privilege........

Then there is Doomy Delores. Doomy Delores is with me on most runs, if she allows me to get there in the first place. Delores also lives in my head and her biggest source of entertainment is, in layman terms, to piss on my proverbial bonfire. Often Delores is so much louder than Polly you don't get off the sofa at all. Delores will tell you you are fat, so fat that running isn't worth it. She tells you you're too tired, too old, too busy. If you ignore her enough to get out and run she will tell you you are crap, slow, embarrassing yourself. She'll tell you running is a waste of time, you look like a twat, everyone is laughing at you and its a waste of time. Delores likes to do nothing. She loves negativity and is a liar. She despises Polly and tries to trip her up at all times.

I think as runners we all have a Polly and Delores. In fact in most aspects of our life we have a Polly and a Delores. I am going to try my hardest to focus on and channel my Polly in my running. Ive spent too long giving headspace to Delores and she's a goner!!!!