In a single day I can swing from "fat and happy": "Im only a size 16! I was a size 14 when i got married 12 years ago, AND I've had 3 babies since"
To fat and sad: "I am DISGUSTING. I am a SIZE 16. I am 5' 5". My BMI makes me very nearly dead. I must lose at least 6 stone to be a worthy member of the human race"
I can wake up Paleo, be on Slimming World by 11am, Weightwatchers by lunchtime, and Atkins by tea.
I have diet books on my shelves from (off the top of my head) Weightwatchers, Slimming World, Harcombe, Juice bloke Jason thingy, Hairy Bikers, terriAnn123, Fat Diet, Sugar free diets, Fasting .........................
My head is completely done in by all the different options, conflicting advice and new plans coming out every 5 minutes. I have looked up Gastric surgery, I have toyed with VLCD (Very low calorie diets), I have drunk shakes that taste like the foam in a sewer.
I have called myself horrid names. I have apologised to my husband for being so gross and how he is stuck with me. I have accused him of coming to bed after me so he doesnt have to look at my grotesqueness. (He was watching the cycling) I have watched my 6 year old daughter squeeze her non existant belly and say "God, Im sooooo fat". (learned behaviour or what)
It makes me so sad. Yes being overweight (and I AM overweight) is bad for your health. BUT why am I so mean to myself? I would never talk to someone else the way I talk to me in my head. I can be utterly vile to myself. Sat in front of the mirror poking my rolls of flab when I bend over (FYI my 11 year old football mad super slinky son has rolls when he bends over- its called SKIN. It covers your skeleton. You'dbe a bit nippy without it!)
The simple answer is a simple equation of calories in/ calories out. Eat less, move more.
Why then is it so hard..................
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